Now, we can all agree that the best part about baby showers is the mimosas. But what’s the worst part? The creepy games? The mayonnaise-centric menus? Indeed, those are definitely low-points, but in my humble opinion, the gift opening marathon is THE worst.

Traditionally, everyone gathers round and watches the mom-to-be open the mound of gifts selected by friends, colleagues, and distant cousins. So as not to seem greedy or ungrateful, pregnant mama opens each gift painstakingly sloooowly without ripping the paper. Then she must come up with creative and gracious commentary about each burp cloth and nipple shield and off-registry wildcard to entertain the onlookers. Meanwhile, the guests have to react to each item with equal reverence whilst engaging in polite whispery conversation with whomever they are seated next to. Guests watch as each gift is unwrapped, appreciated, discussed, passed around, re-boxed, and recorded. At small showers the gifting bit is no big deal, but at large showers, the gifting process can last for days.

No one and I mean no one likes receiving gifts more than I do (hint hint hint), but being on stage in such a manner was a mildly uncomfortable spot even for me. Here is a montage of my Oscar-worthy performance of oohs and ahhs at my own baby shower way back when:

The traditional gift-opening approach is more than a smidge uncomfortable for the gift receiver and can be like watching paint dry for the gift givers.

But guess what? There is a better way!

Next time you host a shower, try this alternative gift opening method:

The Group Gift Opening Extravaganza

Step 1: Randomly pass out one wrapped gift to each shower guest and the remaining gifts to the Mom-to-Be.

Step 2: Everyone open the gifts at the same time.

Step 3: One by one, go around the room and have each guest give a quick show-and-tell about the gift she opened. Hold it up, show off the cuteness, and say who it’s from. For example: “A Pack N Play from Patricia.” “It’s a swaddle from Susie.” “A WubbaNub from Winnie.” Etcetera.

Step 4: Refill your mimosa glass and get on with it.

This is a fun, fast way to make the most yawn-inducing part of baby showers a breeze–and, dare I say, even fun for the whole group.

At my sister’s baby shower which *gasp* included men, they actually had the guys open the gifts and do the show-and-tell. It was pretty dang entertaining to watch the single guys explain the baby paraphernalia that can make even mothers blush. (like this. and this). Fun times.

A few weeks ago, I was part of the hosting team for a baby shower honoring a pair of pregnant sisters. Adorable. But had we done the present process the traditional way, we would have had to have a medical team on-hand to deliver the babies who would have been born before the girls were finished opening. Fortunately we had the foresight to shake it up and opted for the mass gifting extravaganza. Try it at your next baby or bridal shower and be a hosting hero.

I will leave you with this easy recipe for a delicious champagne cocktail that can take any baby shower or average Tuesday to the next level.

Mr. Funk of New Orleans (for a group)

• 1 bottle champagne
• 2 ½ cups Cranberry juice
• 1/3 cup peach schnapps
• Raspberries to garnish

Mix it up and serve chilled in a champagne glasses. Garnish with a raspberry or two.

Mr. Funk of New Orleans (for one)

• 3 ounces champagne
• 2 ½ ounces cranberry juice
• ½ ounce peach schnapps
• 1 raspberry

Pour the champagne into a stemmed glass, then add the cranberry juice and schnapps. Garnish with a raspberry and serve.

Happy celebrating.

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In a few short days, both sides of the family will be coming over to our house for turkey and all the fixings. HELLOooo DRAMA! Kidding. The in-laws get along swimmingly. The only drama will be trying to pull off the highest-stakes meal of the year with a single oven and a smile.

If there was ever a time to hire a caterer polish up Mema’s silver and unbox the fine china, this would be it. Honestly I can’t quite remember what my china looks like since I added it to my wedding registry eight years ago, but I’m crossing my fingers that I had the good sense to register for something tasteful and timeless.

There’s a lot to do between now and then, and according to Pinterest I’m already way behind in making preparations for Thanksgiving 2018. Though I haven’t quite nailed down the entire menu, I have made two key decisions:

1. I’ve outsourced the preparation of the turkey. (I’m extra thankful for you this year, Dad.)
2. I’ve planned out which desserts to bake and serve on the big day…

Now this may be a tad scandalous for my first Thanksgiving, but I can tell you what won’t be on our Thanksgiving table: Pumpkin Pie. In its place, I’m serving THE BEST PUMPKIN DESSERT EVER, Pumpkin Gooey Butter Cakes. I posted this recipe years ago but it bears re-posting because it is so dang delicious. I brought a batch to a Friendsgiving celebration a few weeks ago and have received multiple requests for the recipe since. I chose not to add the classic whipped cream onto each slice but you absolutely can add the cream if you want to.

Pumpkin Gooey Butter Cakes

Ingredients

Cake:

• 1 box yellow cake mix
• 1 egg
• 8 tablespoons butter, melted

Filling:

• 1 (8-ounce) package cream cheese, softened
• 1 (15-ounce) can pumpkin puree (NOT pumpkin pie filling)
• 3 eggs
• 1 teaspoon vanilla
• 8 tablespoons butter, melted
• 1 (16-ounce) box powdered sugar – equivalent to 3 3/4 cups (reserve 3 Tbsp for dusting)
• 1 teaspoon cinnamon
• 1 teaspoon nutmeg

Directions

Preheat oven to 350° F.

Combine the bag of cake mix, egg, and butter and mix well with an electric mixer. Pat the mixture into the bottom of a lightly greased 13x 9-inch baking pan.

To make the filling: In a large bowl, beat the cream cheese and pumpkin until smooth. Add the eggs, vanilla, and butter, and beat together. Next, add the powdered sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg, and mix well. Spread pumpkin mixture over cake batter and bake for 40 to 50 minutes. Check on them after about 35 or 40 minutes so you make sure not to overbake them. The center should be set but a little gooey. Let the pan cool completely before you cut the squares. You could even pop the cooled pan in the fridge before cutting them to get extra clean cuts. Dust them with powdered sugar to make them extra pretty before serving them. Enjoy and prepare to be praised.

The other desserts that I’m making are the Fresh Apple Cake from my mom’s vintage copy of the Tea-Time at the Masters Cookbook and a Chocolate Chess Pie. It tastes like the best brownie ever but in pie form, and like most desserts, it is best served warm with ice cream. That recipe hails from an old issue of Southern Living Magazine:

Chocolate Chess Pie with Pecans

Ingredients

• 1 packaged uncooked refrigerated pie crust (like this)
• 1/2 cup butter
• 2 (1-oz.) unsweetened chocolate baking squares
• 1 (5-oz.) can evaporated milk (2/3 cup)
• 2 large eggs
• 2 teaspoons vanilla extract, divided
• 1 1/2 cups granulated sugar
• 3 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa
• 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
• 1/8 teaspoon salt
• 1 1/2 cups pecan halves and pieces
• 2/3 cup firmly packed light brown sugar
• 1 tablespoon light corn syrup

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350°. Roll pie crust into a 13-inch circle on a lightly floured surface. Fit into a 9-inch pie plate; fold edges under, and crimp.
2. Microwave butter and chocolate squares in a large microwave-safe bowl at MEDIUM (50% power) 1 1/2 minutes or until melted and smooth, stirring at 30-second intervals. Whisk in evaporated milk, eggs, and 1 tsp. vanilla.
3. Stir together granulated sugar, cocoa, flour, and salt. Add sugar mixture to chocolate mixture, whisking until smooth. Pour mixture into prepared crust.
4. Bake pie at 350° for 40 minutes. Stir together pecans, next 2 ingredients, and remaining 1 tsp. vanilla; sprinkle over pie. Bake 10 more minutes or until set. Remove from oven to a wire rack, and cool completely (about 1 hour). *Extra delicious served with ice cream.

I figure as long as there is good wine, good music and good desserts, everything that happens in between will be forgotten or forgiven.

Gobble gobble.

Chocolate cake. Like seriously delicious chocolate Cake. Make it. Eat it. Find an excuse to make it again.

My Man’s birthday was last week and it was only fitting that we celebrate with a dinner party and a super special dessert. I scoured the internet for recipes and recommendations and salivated as I scrolled through Pinterest pins of sweet delights. Then I happened upon this recipe for Barefoot Contessa’s chocolate cake. She says that of all the chocolate cakes she’s ever had (and between us, I think she has had quite a few) this remains her very very favorite. I have actually seen the episode where she makes this cake for one of her high-rolling gay Hamptons friends and it looked delicious and totally doable. My Man deserves the very best, and if there ever was an occasion to dust off the KitchenAid Stand Mixer, this is it.

The following recipe created the best homemade chocolate cake that I have ever had. Though I may not have eaten as much chocolate cake as Ina, I have had more than my fair share. This one meets my VERY high standards and will be heretofore my go-to chocolate cake recipe.

Double-Chocolate Layer Cake

from the Barefoot Contessa

Time: Prep:40 minutes Total: 1hour 30 minutes

Cake Ingredients

• 1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
• 2 cups sugar
• 3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
• 2 teaspoons baking soda
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1 teaspoon kosher salt
• 1 cup buttermilk, shaken
• 1/2 cup vegetable oil
• 2 extra-large eggs, at room temperature
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1 cup freshly brewed hot coffee

Frosting Ingredients

• 6 ounces good semisweet chocolate, coarsely chopped
• 2 sticks (1/2 pound) unsalted butter, at room temperature
• 1 large egg yolk, at room temperature
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1 cup plus 1 tablespoon confectioners’ sugar, sifted
• 1 tablespoon instant coffee powder**

Instructions

1. Preheat the oven to 350°. Butter two deep 8-inch or 9-inchround cake pans and line them with parchment paper then butter the paper. Dust the pans with flour, tapping out any excess. (OR spray liberally with PAM)
2. Sift the flour, sugar, cocoa, baking soda, baking powder, and salt into the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with a paddle attachment and mix on low speed until combined. In another bowl, whisk the buttermilk with the oil, eggs and vanilla. With the mixer on low speed, slowly beat the buttermilk mixture into the dry ingredients until just incorporated. With the mixer on low, add the hot coffee and stir just to combine, scraping the bottom of the bowl with a rubber spatula.
3. Pour the batter into the prepared pans. Bake for 35 minutes, or until a cake tester inserted in the center of each cake comes out clean. Let the cakes cool in the pans for 30 minutes, and then turn cakes onto a cooling rack to cool completely.
4. For the frosting: Chop the chocolate and place it in a heat-proof bowl set over a pan of simmering water. Stir until just melted and set aside until cooled to room temperature. (OR In a microwave-safe bowl, heat the chopped chocolate at high power in 30-second intervals, stirring, until most of the chocolate is melted. Stir until completely melted, then set aside to cool to room temperature.)
5. In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with a paddle attachment, beat the butter at medium speed until pale and fluffy. Add the egg yolk and vanilla and beat for 1 minute, scraping down the side of the bowl. At low speed, slowly beat in the confectioners’ sugar, about 1 minute. In a small bowl, dissolve the instant coffee in 2 teaspoons of hot water. Slowly beat the coffee and the cooled chocolate into the butter mixture until just combined.
6. Set a cake layer on a plate with the flat side facing up. Evenly spread one-third of the frosting over the cake to the edge. Place the second layer on top, rounded side up, and spread the remaining frosting evenly on the top and sides of the cake.

*A few recipe notes: Um, this recipe has over 1600 five-star reviews on the Food Network site. That’s sayin’ somethin.’ It was also printed in Food & Wine magazine wherein they recommend refrigerating the cake for at least 1 hour before slicing. Consider it optional as the Barefoot Contessa didn’t do this when she first printed the recipe and served it to her clique of eccentric Hamptonites. I also used two 9 inch pans because my 8-inch pans were too shallow. Made ahead, the frosted cake can be refrigerated for 3 days. Let stand for 1 hour before serving.*

The cake is dark and super moist but somehow very light and airy. Overall the cake came together quite easily. The only high-maintenance aspect of this recipe is that it calls for hot freshly brewed coffee. You don’t really notice the coffee except that it magically enhances the flavor of the chocolate. And you have to beat the butter in the icing for a long time to get it fluffy. But OHMYGOODNESS it’s worth it. This is hands down the best homemade chocolate cake that I have ever had.

Served with vanilla ice cream, this cake is a revelation. Make it for you and/or someone you love.

**Edited to add one more ingredient note: I recently made this delicious cake and used Starbucks VIA Ready Brew Coffee instead of the instant coffee powder that the icing recipe calls for. I learned the hard way that those are NOT the same thing and are therefore not interchangeable. While the icing was still delicious, using the VIA made it taste like strong coffee icing instead of chocolate icing. No one complained because the cake was still quite tasty and complaining would be quite rude, but I was kicking myself for botching that part. Lesson learned.

It has been a while since I shared a recipe, so I think it’s appropriate to share this old standby that can even be decorated to celebrate the most patriotic of holidays–or the upcoming Olympic Games.  Trifle, which must be French for delicious layered dessert, is one of my very favorites.  And there is really no wrong way to do it as long as you start with the essentials:  Some sort of cake, some kind of fruit, and a pudding or custard. Make it quick and healthy by using angel food cake and instant pudding, or laborious and indulgent by using pound cake and homemade custard.  The choice is yours.  I’ll choose the healthy way because it’s bathing suit season and pound cake might undo the postpartum work that Jillian Michaels has begun.  ((And don’t knock instant sugar-free pudding until you try it spiked with a splash of Grand Marnier.))

Summer Berry Trifle

• 2 1.5oz boxes sugar-free vanilla or white chocolate pudding
• 3 ½  cups Skim Milk
• 2 ½ cups CoolWhip (thawed in the refrigerator)
• Splash of Grand Marnier (optional but encouraged!)
• 1 Angel food cake
• 4 cups cut strawberries
• Blueberries for garnish

To make the pudding layer, combine the instant pudding and the milk and whisk until it sets up a bit.  Gently fold in a 1 ½ cups Cool Whip, reserving the other cup for the top layer.  Now add a small splash of Grand Marnier. Taste the mixture and see if you want to add more.  Add a little more.  I’d start with a tablespoon and then add more to taste.  (If you don’t use Grand Marnier, a teaspoon or two of almond extract is a nice addition to give the pudding a kick.) Next, cut the angel food cake in thin slices.   Wash and cut the strawberries.  Now you are ready to get layering.

In a glass dish or bowl, begin with a layer of angel food cake. Then top the cake with a layer of pudding. Now sprinkle on some strawberries.  Repeat the layers until you’ve used up all the ingredients.

For the top layer, spread a thin layer of Cool Whip and get artsy and patriotic with the strawberries and blueberries.

You can serve immediately, but it tastes even better after you let it chill in the refrigerator for about two hours or so.  Enjoy!

Now that you get the gist, feel free to get creative with the whole thing.  Sometimes I add toffee bits between layers, crumbled vanilla meringue cookies, peaches, brownies instead of cake, chocolate pudding instead of vanilla.  You get the idea.  Just layer up and dig in.

Happy Fourth Fifth! Go Team USA!

Last year we had a New Year’s Eve dinner party, but this year we invited some friends over on New Year’s Day for low-key afternoon of food and football to kick off 2012.  Not being one to forgo the opportunity to execute a tradition, I decided to serve the classic New Year’s spread with a kick.  I adapted a recipe from Southern Living, another from Cooking Light and pulled a few from the family archives. The end product was delicious.

Our menu included Hoppin’ John served over White Cheddar Cheese Grits, Collard Greens, Cornbread Muffins and brownies of course.  And as the story goes…

Black-eyed peas=good luck and money

Pork/ham=progress

Greens = wealth

Cornbread=happiness

Brownies=beach vacations, healthy happy babies, wisdom, travel, laughter, new furniture, presents, romance, a housekeeper, absolutely loving new jobs, a warmer-than-usual winter, discovering great new music, long weekends spent visiting friends, discovering new talents, finding money in your pocket, and new iPad 3s for one and all.

((And truth be told, we made everything a day in advance.  Our guests were none the wiser and likely had no idea that their host and hostess with the mostess slept until nearly 11am on New Year’s Day. Don’t judge! One of us is sleeping for two and the other is drinking for two.))

So without further ado, onto the recipes.  And please forgive the sub-par pictures–New Year’s Day food just isn’t that photogenic.

Hoppin’ John Stew

(makes 8-12 servings—leftovers are awesome)

• 1 tablespoon butter
• 1 cup chopped smoked ham
• 1 large onion, chopped
• 4 (15-oz.) cans black-eyed peas, drained and rinsed
• 5 (10-oz.) cans diced tomatoes with green chilies, undrained (like Rotel)
• 1 cup frozen corn kernels
• 1 teaspoon sugar $
• 1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro (optional but encouraged)

Melt butter in a Dutch oven over medium heat; add ham and onion, and sauté 3 to 5 minutes or until onion is tender. Stir in black-eyed peas and next 3 ingredients. Cover, reduce heat to low, and cook, stirring occasionally for about 15 minutes. Remove from heat, and stir in cilantro. Serve over White Cheddar Cheese Grits. Top with a splash of Tabasco or Sriracha, if you like it hot. Bow chicka bow wow.

White Cheddar Cheese Grits

(makes 6-8 servings)

• 4 cups low-sodium chicken broth
• 2 tablespoons butter
• 1 cup uncooked quick-cooking grits
• 1 cup (4 oz.) shredded white Cheddar cheese

Bring chicken broth and butter to a boil in a medium saucepan over medium-high heat. Gradually whisk in grits, and return to a boil. Reduce heat to medium-low, and simmer, stirring occasionally, 5 minutes or until thickened. Stir in cheese until melted. Serve immediately. (If you make these ahead, reheat on low and add milk to create desired thickness)

Collard Greens

(makes 4 1/2 cup servings)

• 2 Canadian bacon slices
• 1 medium sweet onion, chopped small
• 1 tablespoon canola or olive oil
• 1 (16-oz.) package fresh collard greens, washed and trimmed (like these)
• 1 tablespoon cider vinegar
• 1 tablespoon maple syrup
• 1/8 teaspoon hot red pepper flakes
• 3/4 cups low-sodium chicken broth
• 1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar
• salt (to taste)
• pepper

Preheat a medium pot or dutch oven and cook the Canadian bacon on medium for 2 minutes on each side. Remove the bacon from the pan, chop, and set aside. Add the oil and onion to the pot and cook on medium-high until onions have softened, about 4 minutes. Add collards in smallish batches until wilted, and cook stirring occasionally for 5 minutes or until everything is wilted. Stir in the cider vinegar, maple syrup, red pepper flakes, and broth. Bring to a simmer. Reduce heat to low and cook partially covered, stirring occasionally for 30 minutes or to desired degree of tenderness. (And so what if your mind wanders and you forget about your simmering greens! These quite frankly can’t be overcooked.) Add the splash of balsamic vinegar and the chopped bacon to the pan, and season with salt before serving.

Honey Cornbread Muffins

(makes 12 large muffins or 24 minis)

• 1 cup yellow cornmeal
• 1 cup all-purpose flour
• 1 tablespoon baking powder
• 1/2 cup granulated sugar
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 cup whole milk or 2%
• 2 large eggs
• 1/2 stick butter, melted
• 1/4 cup honey

Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.  Into a large bowl, mix the cornmeal, flour, baking powder, sugar, and salt. In another bowl, whisk together the milk, eggs, butter, and honey. Add the wet to the dry ingredients and stir until just mixed.

Place muffin paper liners in a 12-cup muffin tin. Evenly divide the cornbread mixture into the papers. Bake for 12-15 minutes, until golden.

Not only are these recipes supremely scrumptious, they are healthy(ish).  Well, at least the beans & greens are healthy! What better way to kick off your 2012 resolution to get the skinnies by bikini season?

Now eat up!

• How I told you to watch Happy Endings
• How I insisted that you give the band, Noah and the Whale a try
• How I wrote a post specifically to basement tenant Chuck, insisting that he break up with his verbally abusive girlfriend. (Unfortunately, Chuck neither reads my blog nor does he heed my advice because he proposed!)
• How I demanded that you make this pumpkin dessert instead of whatever sub-par pumpkin dessert you have been settling for

For these posts, I say “You’re welcome.”  ((For the dance video portion of posts like this, I say “I’m sorry”))

Then there are the posts where I write things for my own benefit, to capture my memories in print so that I can go back one day and remember when we were young, unfettered, and carefree things like weddings, vacations, special weekends, big life events, moving, and our crazy former landlord. This post falls into that category.  I simply had to chronicle a few events from the past month so that I won’t forget.  Shall I begin?

First there was our trip to the beach the last week of October.  My Oneandonly and I decided that we needed a vacation and made Seaside, Florida our destination.  It was a perfect week of splendid isolation.  There were beach walks, bike rides, lots of sitting, dice games, movies and seafood.

The weather was perfect and there was not a child in sight (evil cackle). If I can give you one word of wisdom, it would be to go to the beach in April, May or October.  The weather is divine and the beach is virtually empty because the kids are in school. Everyone wins. Especially me, at dice games.

(baby bump at the beach-13 weeks)

And if you’re thinking, why is a sassy girl under 30 wearing a skirted tankini—I’ll tell you why.  It’s because I burnt the absolute crap out of my stomach and upper thighs the first few days at the beach.  And more importantly, it’s because I’m a modest and pure expectant mother, and I (we) think it proper to cover up. Next stop: wholesome wear.

Our last night we splurged financially and calorically and went to dinner at Café Tango. If you are ever in a 75 mile radius of Santa Rosa Beach, FL please go there for dinner.  Upon recommendation of my sister who dined there the week prior, I ordered the Dancing Fish (Pan-Sautéed Fresh Fish Fillet Topped With Shrimp, Lump Crabmeat, Grilled Diver Scallop, and Spinach in a Jalapeño Cream Sauce). It was hands down the best entree and culinary experience I’ve had in 2011.  (My best culinary experience of 2010 is chronicled here.)  Something about dining in restaurants converted from quaint old homes just rings my bell.

In early November I made a trip to Austin, TX to visit my friend Marie. The same wonderful one-of-a-kind Marie whose wedding was documented here.

It was my first time traveling to Austin but I knew I would fall in love with it before I stepped of the plane.  An outdoorsy city with lots of live music, Mexican food, former residence of Tim Riggins, and an abundance of walking paths is right up my alley.  Marie and I had a ball. Unfortunately I only took two pictures the whole weekend—we were having too much fun for me to pause and break out the camera…

And then there was Thanksgiving. My Man’s family and my family came together for the feast o’ plenty at my parents’ house.  Everything was delicious. Including my little nephew:

Dad and the world’s most perfect pumpkin.

Mom and Married Mip

The Captain and the kiddos.  (I think he enjoyed their toys more than they did!)

Sadly, we have no pictures of the whole family together or the delicious spread.  But I’m thinking the bump in the photo below is one part turkey, two parts AMAZING Oyster Dressing, and three parts baby.

But see it? See it?

There is nothing the Internet loves more than a great new Beyonce video, silly kittens on YouTube, and a good old fashioned before & after. You will have to check out the Beyonce video for yourself, but I can give you a few before & afters.

Dining room before:

Dining room after:

The 72′ round table is actually newly mine, as is the barely visible beige-ish tablecloth (both of which my deal-savvy parents were able to snag for a song). This will stay in the dining room until the far-too-distant-future when we can afford to splurge on a large French antique oval table. The coral overlay was an addition from my mom’s collection to jazz up the celebration and add a little oomph to what she calls “the house of beige.” The adorable chiavari chairs were on overnight loan from the wedding caterer. Understandably, I got pretty attached.

The women over 50 30 sat in here-what one day will be the future cozy-sophisto living room. Here it was before:

And ta-da! After:

I couldn’t help but feel like the Barefoot Contessa when I was setting that table with a burlap tablecloth, linen napkins and pewter silver. But I need more eclectic friends with neat stores in The Hamptons to complete that little fantasy. One step at a time, I suppose.

Who catered the shower, you might ask. Well, I did! I can hardly believe it myself. What to serve, what to serve…?

Raise your hand if you have ever been a bridesmaid.

Keep your hand up if you have ever gone to a bridesmaid’s luncheon.

Now keep your hand high in the air if you were served chicken salad at that luncheon.

I see that every single hand is still in the air.

What is it about a gathering of women that necessitates a menu consisting of mayonnaise -laden chicken salad?

Because I didn’t want to ruffle too many feathers and veer too far off the prescribed course for such an event (by serving something like BBQ or lasagna), I served…wait for it…chicken on a salad. There is a BIG difference between chicken salad and salad with chicken in it. Email me if you have any questions about that.

The entree that the bride requested for her second-to-last-lunch as a single lady is affectionately called “the salad” in my family and officially called “The Cornucopia Salad.” It is always a crowd-pleaser and was easily quadrupled to serve 17.

Cornucopia Salad

(serves 4 and doubles and triples easily)

Ingredients:

• 1/4 cup sliced almonds
• 1 tablespoon white sugar
• 1 large head green leaf lettuce or spring greens, torn
• 2 green onions, chopped
• 1 Granny Smith apple, cored and chopped
• 1 avocado – peeled, pitted, chopped and seasoned with salt and pepper
• 1/2 cup dried cranberries
• 1/4 cup crumbled goat cheese (or blue, or feta, or whatever cheese pleases you)
• 1 8oz can mandarin oranges, drained
• 1 rotisserie chicken, white meat only
• Dressing of your choice: I used Trader Joe’s Cranberry Walnut Gorgonzola Vinaigrette this time. Other recommendations: Balsamic vinaigrette, Trader Joe’s Champagne Pear with Gorgonzola vinaigrette or any basic vinaigrette that you love.

Instructions:

Place the almonds and 1 tablespoon of sugar in a small skillet over medium-low heat, and cook and stir until the sugar melts and the almonds brown. Watch carefully because if you turn away for even just a minute, you will have a burnt mess and there will be no choice but to start over. Remove from heat and allow to cool. (In a pinch, you can also skip this step entirely and buy pre-seasoned walnuts or pecans).

Get a fancy French manicure on your way to Costco to pick up the rotisserie chickens. (Hormones and free-range livin’ be dammed, Costco rotisserie chickens are the very, very best). De-bone, de-skin and remove all that tasty white breast meat from the chickens. Shred it in bite size pieces. Ruin your wedding manicure. Decide it was definitely worth it.

In a large salad bowl, mix the lettuce, green onions, apple, avocado, dried cranberries, mandarin oranges, chicken, goat cheese, and cooked almonds. No need to be exact on the measurements of these ingredients, just add as much or as little as you like

Toss with the dressing of your choosing and serve.

Along with the salad we served these delicious little butter muffins. They were divine warm from the oven. Recipe as follows:

• 2 sticks butter
• 1 8 oz. carton sour cream
• 2 cups self-rising flour

And dessert, oh my heavens dessert.

Vanilla ice cream toped with fresh berries and the most delicious warm toffee sauce you’ve ever had. My Man and I have been reheating the leftovers since the shower, and he insisted I blog the recipe for the benefit of my blog readers. It’s that good! You know, life is tough these days. We might be on the verge of a double-dip recession and we are definitely on the verge of winter and the end of daylight savings time. I also have a newly married sister who may or may not be spending Christmas with our family. I don’t know which is worse. What I do know is that this will help:

Instructions:
Combine first 4 ingredients in saucepan. Stir and allow to come to a boil for 1 minute. Remove from heat, stir in toffee bits and cool. Serve over strawberries (ice cream is optional) topped with dollop of whipped cream. Sauce may be made well ahead and left to stand, or refrigerated and reheated. Stir occasionally when reheating.

It truly was such a joy to host my amazing sister and her sweet friends, many of whom I consider friends of my own. It was a treat to have them all together, at the same table sharing delicious food (thankyouverymuch) and even shedding a spirit tear or two, thanks to my sister, who had us all misty-eyed when she went around and told each of us why we were so special to her.

I’m only sorry I had to miss the 10am Zumba class that took place in my parents’ tented driveway the morning before the luncheon.

Apparently even my dad couldn’t resist getting in on the action.

Wedding pictures coming soon…

I consistently kept you on the edge of your seat with my recounts of must-see reality tv, workout DVD reviews, cookie recipes, tales of the old landlord, and the newest condiments you need to consume right now. I feel like I owe you one.  Like I need to take one for the team and humble myself before my loyal readers to make amends for my month of silence.

Should I try to say nice things about someone I have lightly bashed? Like Ryan Seacrest or Kelly Killoren Bensimon?

Maybe I should show you my face without makeup like Kathie Lee and Hoda did? (I guess I already did that)

How about I share a mildly embarrassing video of myself dancing?  Would that even the score? It is certainly worth a shot to get back on your good side.

A few disclaimers:

• I just found this gem on the computer and it was in no way created for public consumption. But that’s how much I love ya.
• The video was taken in the old house last March. (My Man filmed it to test our FlipCam)
• Yes.  The video was taken in March and there are Christmas decorations in the background. I love my artsy manger scene so much I didn’t have the heart to take it down immediately after Christmas, or even in the remote vicinity of Christmas.
• The song, not on the billboard chart for top dance tracks, is called “I Am John” by the band Loney, Dear. I dig the beat.
• Sorry if you wasted two of your precious minutes watching the whole thing.

Now, we’re even.

That brings me to my list of big and little things going on lately that are worth dancing about:

My friend Kristin got married in Highlands, North Carolina.  The wedding, in a word: Gorgeous. Delicious.  Beautiful. Joyful.
 

Pumpkin season is upon us, and with that comes a bounty of pumpkin baked goods.  Want something healthy-ish and pumpkiny delicious? Make this.  Want something unhealthy and pumpkin delicious, make these.

My man has embraced yard work–raking, mowing and mulching. Look (and swoon) at his handy work:

New seasons of some of my favorite shows have started: Parenthood, Modern Family, Parks and Recreation, Happy Endings, Sister Wives, etc.

BUT most importantly, my little sister is getting married in a week! A week!

And there will definitely, definitely be dancing.

Before I get into the details, let me take care of a little housekeeping:

• I can’t and don’t do all of my shopping at Trader Joe’s.  I love name brands for certain items (i.e. Heinz for her and DiGiorno for him) that Trader Joe’s just doesn’t carry.
• Aside from some staples (brussels, broc, carrots, English cucumbers, mini grape tomatoes) their produce selection can be hit or miss, making a trip to Publix inevitable.
• If you see something that sounds interesting, try it! They have a little-known money back guarantee to encourage you to try new things.  The only thing I have ever got from Trader Joe’s that I didn’t like was this Cilantro Dressing.  It was straight-up nasty.  I took back the open bottle and exchanged it for something I knew I would like better. No questions asked.

So here is what I get from Trader Joe’s on the reg:

Here is the list:

• Salad Dressings. My favorites are in the photo, and I have an entire post dedicated to my love for this dressing
• Frozen berries.  Such a bargain and perfect for adding to cereal and dessert when fresh ones are out of season
• Sweet & Spicy Pecans and Candied Walnuts take salads and snacking to the next level
• Cereals.  TJ’s brand of Cheerios are right-on and their price on Puffins cant be beat and Flax&Fiber gets the job done.  Ladies need their fiber. Can I get an amen?
• Dried fruit and Trail Mixes. Apples, Raisins, Cherries, Aapricots…
• Burgers of the non-meat variety: Dr. Praegers Tex Mex, Vegetable Masala, and Mahi
• Cheeses are a great value.  I always have their Goat Cheese and the Feta on hand
• Soups. We love the split pea and the black bean
• Bars.  Cliff Kid’s Z Bars and Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Larabars are my favorite on-the-go snack bars
• Things I didn’t get on this trip because I had to draw the line somewhere forcryingoutloud: cinnamon twist cookies, organic pasta sauce, baked blue corn tortilla chips

So that’s my basic list.

Pray tell, fellow Trader Joe’s lovers, what am I missing?  What do I need to pick up on my next trip?

Our shaded street was completely iced over from Sunday night until Friday afternoon, so for five days we lived like the Amish.  Well, we had electricity, computers, cell phones and television so I suppose it was a reformed/progressive sect of the Amish lifestyle. Basically we couldn’t drive for five days.  There was no barn raising but it was cultural experience for sure.

By day four, our pantry was bare and we had run out of creative ways to reinvent frozen vegetables, oats and canned beans.  So Wednesday afternoon we braved the elements and walked, yes walked, to the grocery store.  There we stocked up on the essentials, or what was left of them on the barren shelves.  It is no secret that Atlantans freak out before, during and after a snow flake.

It was a treacherous and icy trek there and back.  Thank goodness I had my overpriced yet practical inclement weather boots to get me there.  Ladies, you know exactly which boots I am talking about.

Besides five straight days of full-time togetherness with My Roommate and the rationale for purchasing the adorable coordinating inclement weather socks to go with the boots, this delicious Chicken Chili was the best thing to come from Snowpocalypse 2011.  It is warm and hearty and has nothing but healthy wholesome ingredients.

Make it.

Chicken Chili

(serves 6 (or 2 for three days in a row))

Ingredients

• 4 cups chopped yellow onions (3 onions)
• 1 tablespoon olive oil, plus extra for chicken
• 1/8 cup minced garlic (2 cloves)
• 2 red bell peppers, cored, seeded, and large-diced
• 2 yellow or orange bell peppers, cored, seeded, and large-diced
• ¼ cup chili powder
• 1 tablespoon ground cumin
• 1/4 teaspoon dried red pepper flakes, or to taste
• 1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper, or to taste if you like it hot
• 2  teaspoons ground coriander
• 1 teaspoon dried oregano
• 2 teaspoons kosher salt, plus more for chicken
• 2 (28-ounce) cans whole peeled plum tomatoes in puree, undrained
• 1 can corn
• 3 different cans of drained beans- pinto, kidney beans, cannellini, black. Express yourself.
• 4 split chicken breasts, bone in, skin on  (or shredded white meat from a rotisserie chicken or poached and shredded chicken breasts)
• Black pepper

For serving:

• Chopped onions, corn chips, grated cheddar, sour cream or plain Greek yogurt, cilantro

Directions

Cook the onions in the oil over medium-low heat for 10 to 15 minutes, until translucent. Add the garlic and cook for 1 more minute. Add the bell peppers, chili powder, cumin, coriander, oregano, red pepper flakes, cayenne, and salt. Cook for 1 minute. Crush the tomatoes by hand (super easy and sorta fun) or in batches in a food processor (pulse 6 to 8 times). Add to the pot along with the drained beans and corn. Bring to a boil then reduce the heat and simmer, uncovered, for 30 minutes, stirring occasionally.

While chili is simmering, cook the chicken.  Or pull the rotisserie chicken out and shred it.

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.  Rub the chicken breasts with a little olive oil and place them on a baking sheet. Sprinkle generously with salt and pepper. Roast the chicken for 35 to 40 minutes, until just cooked. Let cool slightly. Remove and discard the bones and skin and shred the chicken or cut it into chunks.

Add the cooked chicken to the chili and simmer, uncovered, for another 30 minutes.  Serve with the toppings that make you the happiest, or refrigerate and reheat gently before serving.

Eat. Repeat.

*Loosely based on this recipe from The Barefoot Contessa with a little inspiration from this recipe from America’s Test Kitchen Healthy Cookbook

At the store, we stocked up on the essentials, or what was left of them on the barren shelves.

But not this year.

For the first time we didn’t have plans for the evening months in advance.  So we invited about 12 of our dearest over for a low-key evening to ring in the New Year.

Having friends over was just the incentive we needed to de-clutter.  It was nice starting the New Year a step ahead of the game.  Tossing old magazines, receipts and Christmas clutter made me feel a lot lighter, even if the holiday cookies achieved the opposite.

High on endorphins from a neatly set table, I even found myself digging into the cluttered kitchen drawers before the guests arrived.  I am my mother’s daughter after all…

(but fortunately, unlike my mom someone I know, company coming will never incite me to clean behind the refrigerator. My genes have their limits.)

I knew for sure that I didn’t want to be frantic the day of and cooking when our friends arrived, so we planned an easy breezy menu of our favorites:

Dinner: Salmon, grits, salad and crusty grainy bread

Dessert: Chocolate Cake and an assortment of ice creams

Beverages a plenty.

When our friends arrived and it was time to dine, I popped the salmon in the oven (recipe to come), heated the grits (made that afternoon) and warmed up the bread (thanks Costco artisans).  I had some of the girls help with assembling the salad while we chatted about girlie things in the kitchen.  Like that, dinner was on the table and this hostess with the mostess kept her cool and enjoyed every bite.

We had dessert around midnight.  I made the Coke Cake (basically a moister version of Texas Sheet Cake) the day before and heated it a bit before serving.  I used this timeless recipe and only a fraction of the nuts because the cook doesn’t like nuts in her desserts.  It doesn’t get much better than good friends and a self-serve dessert buffet.

We talked and talked at the dinner table and before we knew it we were watching the ball drop. Spontaneous dancing ensued to some of our favorite tunes from 2010. Our last guests left around 2am. See, just because we didn’t go to a wild party doesn’t mean that we lamed out at 12:01.

My Man and I high-fived at 2:45 when we climbed into bed after cleaning the kitchen. The whole thing (except for my artful arrangement of the Tupperware drawer) was a team effort.  We both agreed that we should make it a tradition.

I remember many a New Year’s Eve spent at an anticlimactic large party with mostly strangers, sore feet and a headache from the cheep wine and the DJ’s strobe light.  While I love a night out and dancing is one of my favorite pastimes alone or in public, I envisioned the NYE of my dreams…the future, when hopefully I could have a New Year’s Eve at home with people I loved.  I imagined a dinner party with candles and laughter and good food and great friends.

And then it happened, for the first time, this year.  It was worth the wait.

“What are your fitness goals, Jennifer?” He asked me.

“Oh, I don’t know. I guess I want to be longer and leaner.”

“What else,” he asked as he leaned in a little closer. I think he wanted me to go a little deeper with him but I was stumped.

“Stronger…I guess? What do people usually say?”
“Well, most people have very specific fitness goals” he said.  “Some want tighter cores because all strength really comes from the core. Some want more toned arms. Other people come to the gym hoping to make their butts bigger,” he added.

“What!? People come here because they want bigger butts? What a nice problem to have.”

He nodded.

“Sir,” I said, “I’m afraid I know exactly how to do that and it doesn’t require a gym membership.”

Shortbread Thumbprint Cookies from Henri’s Bakery

These shortbread thumbprints are from a Henri’s bakery in Atlanta (pronounced On-ree’s with a French accent for those out-of-towners). I find the majority of their baked goods absolutely average, but these cookies are superb. They are on the elite list of my top ten all-time favorite cookies, so you can imagine how delighted I was to find the recipe online. It was actually printed in the newspaper a few years ago. The dough has to chill for a few hours so plan accordingly, my dear.

Makes about 60 cookies-but the recipe below can easily be divided in half

Ingredients:

For the cookies:

• 1 cup granulated sugar
• 3/4 cup (1 1/2 sticks) unsalted butter at room temperature
• 1 cup vegetable shortening*
• 6 egg yolks
• 4 cups cake flour
• 2 teaspoons salt
• 2 teaspoons vanilla extract

For the fondant filling:

• 1/2 cup granulated sugar
• 1/4 cup water
• 2 tablespoons light corn syrup
• 2 cups powdered sugar
• Food coloring (optional)

Instructions:

To make the cookies:

With an electric mixer on low speed, cream sugar with butter and shortening until thoroughly combined. Slowly add egg yolks. Scrape the bowl and add flour, salt and vanilla. Scrape bowl again to make sure ingredients are thoroughly mixed. Wrap dough in plastic and chill for several hours.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Roll out the dough a little at a time into log shapes the thickness of a roll of quarters. (Keep the remainder refrigerated.) Cut off pieces about 1½ inches in length. Place pieces cut side up on a cookie sheet lined with parchment paper. Flatten each piece and make a depression in the middle using your finger. Bake for 12-15 minutes or until slightly brown around edges. Cool completely on rack.

Prepare fondant filling after the cookies are cool:

Boil sugar and water until dissolved. Transfer to the bowl of an electric mixer and add corn syrup and powdered sugar. Mix on low speed until smooth. Fondant should be thick yet pourable. Correct the consistency with more powdered sugar or corn syrup if necessary.

Tint with food coloring to spice things up. I chose red and green, but get creative to suit any occasion.

Using a small spoon or decorating bag, place fondant in center of each cookie. Fondant will harden upon standing.

These cookies actually taste better the longer they sit. They are best at least a day after you make them. Mine spread a little more than the Henri’s cookies in the photo below. I think my dough portions were larger. It’s the American way.

*I know. Shortening! Eat it by the spoonful if one of your fitness goals is to have a bigger butt.

**Relax! After the holiday season I will return to posting recipes for healthier fare. Promise.

They are called Pumpkin Gooey Butter Cakes and they make pumpkin pie feel like the third sister-wife of the dessert table.  I figured many of you would be planning your Turkey Day menus in the next 24 hours, so I urge you to include these in your spread.  Would I lead you astray on a day with this much at stake?  Certainly not.

You can tell by the title that this recipe is clearly a Paula Deen creation.  Only she would title a recipe “Gooey Butter Cakes.”  Thanksgiving is her bailiwick.  No contest.

Usually I have a nose for the more nutritionally balanced recipes, but this is a well-worth-it exception.  And if you want to make yourself feel better about the two sticks of butter in this recipe, remember that pumpkin is a vegetable.  Or is it a fruit?  Either way.

Pumpkin Gooey Butter Cakes

Ingredients

Cake:

• 1  box yellow cake mix
• 1 egg
• 8 tablespoons butter, melted

Filling:

• 1 (8-ounce) package cream cheese, softened
• 1 (15-ounce) can pumpkin puree (NOT pumpkin pie filling)
• 3 eggs
• 1 teaspoon vanilla
• 8 tablespoons butter, melted
• 1 (16-ounce) box powdered sugar – equivalent to 3 3/4 cups (reserve a 3 Tbsp for dusting)
• 1 teaspoon cinnamon
• 1 teaspoon nutmeg

Directions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

Combine the bag of cake mix, egg, and butter and mix well with an electric mixer. Pat the mixture into the bottom of a lightly greased 13 by 9-inch baking pan.

To make the filling: In a large bowl, beat the cream cheese and pumpkin until smooth. Add the eggs, vanilla, and butter, and beat together. Next, add the powdered sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg, and mix well. Spread pumpkin mixture over cake batter and bake for 40 to 50 minutes.  Check on them after about 35 minutes so you make sure not to overbake them. The center should be a little gooey.   Let the pan cool completely before you cut the squares. You could even pop the cooled pan in the fridge before cutting them to get extra clean cuts.  Dust them with powdered sugar to make them extra pretty before serving them.

Please, please trust me on this one.  Tear up that stale pumpkin pie recipe and enjoy this variation.  Just put on your heals and your naughtiest of aprons, and dazzle the people you are most thankful for with this sinful seasonal delight.

Gobble. Gobble.

Cue the theme music from Adam Sandler on Saturday Night Live…

Now let’s face it, Sloppy Joes aren’t cool. They haven’t made the retro (old-school is the new cool) comeback, they don’t appear on many a menu, and they aren’t met with the same gleeful nostalgia as 1950’s classics like chicken pot pie, meatloaf and mac&cheese.  And I would venture to say that you have not and will not invite friends over for Sloppy Joe, as the dish may even be considered tacky.  I suppose many of you were burned by this second-rate sandwich in your youth.  Maybe your mom made the canned version for dinner on the nights you had a babysitter, and she out on a dinner date with your dad?  Maybe you remember the soggy bun and the neon orange color the fatty mystery meat left on your cafeteria plate?  This wasn’t a staple in our family’s dinner rotation growing up, and they weren’t served my school cafeteria.  This may explain why I occasionally get a crazy craving for that sweet and salty mix that simply must be satisfied.  I recently had one of those cravings and I had to give in.

I urge you to give Joe another chance.  A good recipe that calls for fresh ingredients, lean meat, served upon a toasted bun will change everything.   Here are is a great five star recipe for the classic Sloppy Joe.

And here is another–the Sloppy Joe, revisited and revised to suit the healthier lifestyle.

Sloppy Joe, lightened up

Ingredients

• 1 pound extra-lean ground beef or turkey (92% lean or above)
• 1 onion, diced
• 4 cloves garlic, minced
• 1 jalapeno, minced and seeded
• 1 red pepper, diced
• 1 can small red beans or pinto beans, preferably low sodium drained and rinsed
• 1 1/2 cups no-salt-added tomato sauce
• 2 tablespoons tomato paste
• 1 tablespoon red wine vinegar
• 1 tablespoon molasses
• 1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
• 1 teaspoon mustard powder (or a tablespoon of mustard)
• 3/4 teaspoon salt
• pepper
• 8 whole-wheat burger buns, toasted

Directions

Brown the meat and the onion in a large nonstick skillet or dutch-oven over medium-high heat for 5 minutes, breaking up the meat into crumbles as it cooks. Pour the drippings out of the pan and discard. Add the garlic, jalapeno, and red pepper to the thoroughly drained meat and cook 5 minutes more, stirring occasionally. Stir in the rest of the ingredients, reduce heat to low, and simmer for at least 5 minutes more or until thickened. If you can stand the wait, let the mix cool completely, refrigerate, and serve it the next day (reheated, of course).  Place a scoop of Joe onto each toasted bun and enjoy.

And for those of you vegetarians, who have tuned me out by now, your loss.  Here is a link to a great recipe for a vegetarian Sloppy Joe, the “Snobby Joe” as featured in the Veganomicon Cookbook.

And if you are desperate, like really desperate or camping or snowed-in, Manwich is allowed, but I wouldn’t recommend it.   If you do settle for Manwich, at least toast the bun forchristssake.

Together, we can make Sloppy Joe is new cupcake.

Being the good friend that I am, I decided to make sweet Meredith, her husband and their #1 a tasty dessert to enjoy these last few days before the newborn makes his or her grand entrance.

I have been drooling over this recipe since I saw it a few months ago on Cooking Light and I knew it was just the thing.  It comes together really quickly, requires no sifting, no cooking, and only dirties one bowl.  Perfect for a gal on the go like myself.

Peanut Butter Pie

Ingredients:

• 1 cup powdered sugar
• 1 cup natural-style, reduced-fat creamy peanut butter (such as Smucker’s)
• 1 (8-ounce) block 1/3-less-fat cream cheese, softened
• 1 (14-ounce) can fat-free sweetened condensed milk
• 12 ounces frozen fat-free whipped topping, thawed
• 2 (6-ounce) reduced-fat graham or oreo crusts
• fat-free chocolate sundae syrup

Directions:

Combine powdered sugar, peanut butter, and cream cheese in a large bowl; beat with a mixer at medium speed until smooth. Add milk; beat until combined. Fold in whipped topping. Divide mixture evenly between crusts; chill 8 hours or until set (pies will have a soft, fluffy texture). Cut into wedges; drizzle with chocolate syrup.

I closed the refrigerator on a job well done.

So what do I have to be guilty about on this Guilty Pleasure Thursday?  Well, I made this special pie with full intentions of taking it to my friend, the expectant mother, the next morning, but things came up.  I had a crazy few days at work, my computer and My Man got viruses, one think lead to another and the pie was still in the refrigerator.  Somewhere between “I cant give my friend a two day-old pie” and “this pie looks aahh-mazing,” I cut myself a generous a slice and ate it.  It tasted like a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup but better.  My Oneandonly had a slice last night to make me feel better. Consensus: Yum.

So, on this Guilty Pleasure Thursday I feel guilty because I  (ahem, we) ate the pie I intended to give to my ohso deserving friend–but oh how pleasureful it was.

The lesson from all of this? Double the recipe.

Meredith, I will make you dinner and dessert, when you get home from the hospital with the newest  little miracle.  You have my word. xoxoxo

But what I remember best about these Saturday lessons, besides the buttery country club crackers used for bribery, was learning to eat an artichoke.  Even my parents who signed me up for the course, likely because I thought mashed potatoes were a finger food, found it funny that so much time was spent on such a specific topic and technique. Yes, it can be tricky and not necessarily intuitive, as the majority of the artichoke is inedible, but how often are we offered whole artichokes anyway?

Nearly twenty years later I have yet to have the opportunity to put my artichoke etiquette to use.  Clearly I am running with the wrong crowd.

A seasonal artichoke sale at Whole Foods inspired me to bush the dust off of my artichoke eating technique.  It turns out it’s like riding a bike.

Steamed Artichokes

Ingredients

• 2 Artichokes (or as many as will fit in your steamer basket)
• Lemon
• Butter, seasoned oil, or dip of your choice

Directions

Cut the stem flush with the artichoke body so the artichokes can sit upright. Snap off and discard any battered outer leaves. With a serrated knife, cut the top third from each artichoke and discard. Using scissors, trim the prickly leaf-tops off and throw them away.  Cut the top quarter off the artichoke with a serrated knife.  Rub the cut surfaces with a lemon half.  Your artichokes should look like this before they take a trip to the steamer basket.

Arrange the artichokes in a steamer basket set over at least 3 cups of simmering water and steam, covered, until the leaves can be easily removed, about 40 minutes to 1 hour. About halfway through cooking time check the water level and add more, if necessary.  Serve the artichokes warm or at room temperature.

Artichokes are typically served with melted butter or seasoned olive oil for dipping, but here is a recipe for a delicious looking saffron dip for you overachievers.  They are also great plain.

Click here for instructions about how to eat one and what to do when you get to the hairy choke.   (Hint: the discarded leaves should look like this)

Invite your most elegant friends over and enjoy this delicacy in prehistoric prickly packaging.

Next I will master the art of recreating those warm buttery country club crackers.

We went to Soho on Friday night for dinner which was just great.  Although we had a reservation, we had to wait a bit for a table.  As soon as we were seated they told us to choose any two appetizers on the menu,on the house.  Who can hold a grudge after free calamari and mussels?

On Saturday night we dined at our house.  The menu was titled “dazzle the new in-laws with my cooking skills but spend minimal time cooking because it’s too pretty outside to be inside.”  It featured

• Grilled Salmon with a Sweet and Spicy Rub (this is one of our go-to salmon recipes)
• Fancy Grits, cooked slowly with milk and chicken broth instead of water
• Spinach salad with strawberries, toasted pecans and gorgonzola
• Grainy crusty bread from Fresh Market

I didn’t take a picture of the beautifully plated food because I didn’t want the in-laws to think their son had married a nut.  They will figure that out soon enough.

All I managed to photograph was dessert.  And I’ll tell you these were EASY and delicious and came together in minutes.  I recommend serving them warm with vanilla ice cream.

Infinitely Adaptable Blondies

Adapted from Smitten Kitchen

Ingredients

• 1 stick of butter, melted
• 1 cup brown sugar
• 1 egg
• 1 teaspoon vanilla
• Pinch salt
• 1 cup all-purpose flour

Further additions, use one or a combination of:

• 1/2 to 1 cup toasted chopped nuts
• 1/2 to 1 cup chocolate chips or white chocolate chips
• 1/2 cup toffee
• 1/2 cup mashed bananas
• 1/2 cup dried fruit, especially dried cherries or apricots
• Top with a vanilla butter cream, chocolate, or peanut butter frosting

Directions

Preheat oven to 350°F.  Butter or Pam an 8×8 pan. Mix melted butter with brown sugar – beat until smooth. Beat in egg and then vanilla.   Add salt, stir in flour. Mix in any additions (above). I added about a half cup of Ghirardelli bittersweet chocolate chips.

Pour into the prepared pan. Bake at 350°F 20-25 minutes, or until set in the middle. Check around 20 minutes, especially if you like a little gooeyish middle bar or two.  Cool on rack before cutting them.  Or just eat one right out of the oven. When no one is looking.  Then cut the blondies once they cool, plate um up and no one will know.

Right after My Man and I got engaged, his parents came in town to scope my family out celebrate.  Here is how my mom, my sister and I felt about the prospect of meeting these people who would soon be family (of course I had already met them but posed for the pic nonetheless).

I can now say with authority that I am truly blessed and honored to share my new last name with such amazing, loving and generous people.  We really enjoyed our time together this weekend.*

*No, the M.I.L and the F.I.L. don’t read the blog.**  That bit is genuine. Who do you think I am?

**But it certainly couldn’t hurt to sing their praises…you know, just in case.

I had been eyeing this recipe for Baked Shrimp with Tomatoes and Feta in Ellie Krieger’s cookbook for a while now because it had a delicious looking picture, and I knew this would be just what we needed to get us in the seaside state of mind. Note to cookbook authors, I am 99% more likely to cook a recipe that has a glossy photo of the finished product. Look, can you blame me?

Here is what you need:

Ingredients

• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 1 medium onion, diced (about 1 1/2 cups)
• 2 cloves garlic, minced (about 2 teaspoons)
• 1 (14.5-ounce) cans diced tomatoes, with their juices
• 1 (14.5-ounce) cans of no-salt-added diced tomatoes, with their juices
• 1/4 cup finely minced fresh flat-leaf parsley
• 1 tablespoon finely minced fresh dill I omitted it because I’m on the fence about that particular herb
• 1 1/4 pounds medium shrimp, peeled and deveined
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
• 2/3 cup crumbled feta cheese (about 3 ounces)

Directions

Preheat the oven to 425 degrees.

Heat the oil in an oven proof skillet over a medium-high heat. Add the onion and cook, stirring, until softened, about 4 minutes, then add the garlic and cook for 1 minute. Garlic burns really fast so keep an eye on it. Burnt garlic tastes like shoes and you don’t want that.

Add the tomatoes and their juices and bring to a boil. Reduce the heat to medium-low and let simmer for about 8 minutes, or until the tomato juices thicken.

Remove from the heat. Stir in the parsley, dill (if that’s your thang), and shrimp and season with salt and pepper.

Sprinkle the feta over the top. Bake until the shrimp are cooked through and cheese melts, about 10-12 minutes. I used the time to catch up on my current events.

Here is the finished product fresh out of the oven.

Victory is mine.

This recipe feeds about four. I used my magic to turn the leftovers into a delightful pasta sauce, but it would also be great over couscous. This recipe was simple and delicious and now I feel ready for whatever shellfish might come my way on vacation. Now I just need to work on the base tan.*

*See shockingly pale girl in photograph** above.

**Wishing the free Photoshop had a tanning edit button. It might be worth upgrading to the deluxe version.

I have always been a bit of a condiment connoisseur, having numerous types of salsa, mustards and salad dressings on hand and I am always on the lookout for something new.  Here are some of my favorite refrigerator staples:

Guiltless Gourmet Black Bean Dip (Medium). We love this dip around here.  It is great with chips and salsa, with veggies in place of or in addition to hummus, and it makes a nice complement to a taco salad.

Trader Joe’s Champagne Pear Vinaigrette. This dressing was the star of my Grapefruit Avocado salad and goes really well on so many different salads.  Although it is not overly sweet, sometimes I add a little balsamic vinegar to cut the sweetness if I’m in the mood.  It lives in the refrigerator section of the store–not the dressing aisle. Try it. You’ll like it or your money back, guaranteed.

Costco Balsamic Vinegar.   Balsamic vinegar is like wine and olive oil insofar as taste, quality and prices are all over the place.  A cheap balsamic, like a bad cheap wine, can taste like astringent gasoline.  Believe it or not, the “Kirkland Signature” variety is absolutely fabulous and as good if not better than her more expensive cousins at Williams-Sonoma and other gourmet varieties.  It is thick and is good enough to stand alone as dressing on a salad.  I use this in everything, I add a splash to my homemade jacked up store-bought marinara, or reduce it and pour it over salmon or strawberries.  Buy some.  Drink it out of a wine glass.

Gulden’s Mustard and Heinz 57 Ketchup.  Of course, no condiment list would be complete without mustard and the king of condiments, Heinz 57 Ketchup.  If I had to pick one mustard (but really, what kind of evil person would make me choose just one!), it would be the classic Gulden’s.  Just spicy enough and a great compliment to Ketchup or BBQ sauce.  Onto Ketchup! Now I know we are all trying to eliminate high fructose corn syrup in our diets these days, but when it comes to Ketchup there is no substitute for the 57.  I was on an organic kick a few months ago and I bought organic Ketchup, made with real sugar instead of HFCS.  It is just not the same and the nearly full bottle is still in our refrigerator where it will stay until I don’t feel guilty throwing it away give it away.

George’s Restaurant, our local hamburger bar serves their “famous” burgers with Hunts Ketchup and yellow mustard. Confusing, I know.  And an insult to all of the work that goes into their delicious bunned creations.

POP QUIZ!!! SAT Prep question in the form of an analogy:

Heinz 57: Hunts

A) Diet Coke: Diet Rite

B) Moët et Chandon: Andres Champagne

C) Charmin Ultra: printing paper

D) Manolo Blahnik: Easy Spirit

E) All of the Above

If you answered E) all of the above, treat yourself to a sweet potato fry, scrambled eggs or finger dipped in the real ketchup.

So that’s my quick list of condiment hits.  I could go on and on and this very well might be a two part post (fascinating!).

What’s on your list?



Grapefruit Avocado Salad

Ingredients

Spinach or mixed greens

Big Grapefruit, peeled, seeded and sectioned

Dried cherries or cranberries

Ripe Avocado, diced and seasoned with S&P

Walnuts or Pecans (seasoned or toasted)

Crumbled Gorgonzola

Trader Joes Champagne Pear Vinaigrette with Gorgonzola

Directions

Combine the ingredients as you wish, in the ratio of your choosing. Express yourself.  Top with a sprinkle of gorgonzola and vinaigrette. Enjoy!

Substitutions and Suggestions

No grapefruit? Use sliced pears or apples.

Can’t stand the smell of Gorgonzola? Try feta or goat cheese.

Wanna make a meal out of it? Add some grilled salmon.

Hate salad? Find a different recipe or omit lettuce.