My Man has expensive taste in tennis rackets, like I have expensive taste in wine glasses and footwear.
Because he is both a bargain hunter and a risk taker, he decided to order his fancy racket from the internet. He found some site advertising the desired racket for $100 less than retail and ordered it. What a deal! A month later the racket arrived in what looked like a child’s art project of cardboard, duct tape and Chinese newsprint, but sure enough, it was the racket he hoped for. Despite the questionable wrapping, the racket was certifiably legit.
A few months later my little athlete wanted to order a backup racket, in case he gets intense and breaks a string mid-match. The site he ordered the first racket from was down, so he found another site, offering the same racket for less than retail. I said he was pressing his luck to trust cyberspace sellers again, but he ordered it nonetheless.
Within days it arrived in pristine FedEx packaging. Thrilled to get another great deal on a fancy racket, he proudly took it to the tennis shop to get it strung. The tennis pro took one look at it and declared the racket a fake! A fraud! A knockoff! A Prado not a Prada. A Channel not a Chanel. Unfortunately and surprising to no one, his counterfeit purchase left no paper trail and as expected, the vendor’s website was no longer in existence.
I told My Man he got served. We high-fived because it’s required when someone makes a hilarious pun.
As a last resort, he decided to tell the credit card company about being dumb enough to order something from a shady site on the worldwide web hoodwinked by the tennis racket seller. So he took up the counterfeit issue with American Express and that very day the credit card company issued him a full refund. No questions asked.
That my friends, is customer service.
So to thank American Express for their good deed, I have come up with a few new slogans for them:
American Express You got played? We’ll get you paid.
American Express When it was too good to be true.
American Express We got your back when you get jacked.
American Express When they sell you a phony, we’ll refund your mon-ey.
American Express We’ll make um shake when they sell you a fake.
And one more for the road…
American Express Your wife may say “I told you so,” but we won’t.