The *occasional* insect invasion

2010 July 7
by Jennifer

My Man and I see eye to eye on most things. But one area where we don’t quite agree is on the topic of indoor pest control.

If a bug is in the house, I kill it with a mixture of revulsion and delight.No questions asked. This is normal, I say! No I don’t kill bugs in their natural habitat and know from 2nd grade science that they are an integral part of the food chain. But anything else alive, other than select domestic house pets after undergoing a thorough review, is unwelcome in our home.

If there is a bug in our house, My Man’s mission is to save its life (from death by my shoe) and kindly escort it out the door unharmed. He takes his membership to the Nature Conservancy literally. Like a six year old boy, he gets a red cup and a piece of paper and begins talking to the insect. He then ever so gently captures the bug in the cup without so much as injuring one of its tiny legs, and carefully escorts it outside. He probably even names them. Sweet, right? Yeah, great in theory, but eight times out of ten the bug gets away and continues residence in our home. That whole dance used to make me really frustrated. Now I just leave the room and let him have his way.

I recently came across this Bug Vacuum, It sucks a bug in and then releases it without harm. Perhaps this will make his efforts more effective-and entertaining for spectators (i.e. me).

This is the kind of item that one can most likely find in Sky Mall Magazine, the clearing house for single-purpose and ridiculously unnecessary gadgets. Like this:

Ah, hours of entertainment await at (Sky Mall is that magazine they urge you to take for free(!) from the seat-back pocket on the airplane). But I digress…

And just to clarify, we do agree on one insect, and that is roaches. Ahem, palmetto bugs. Yes, even my little buglover kills roaches with gusto. If we didn’t see eye to eye on that there would be squabbles. This was him on Sunday night after an unwelcome intruder scurried under our oven. He had a shoe in one hand, a coat hanger for coaxing in the other and the Raid nearby. I couldn’t have been more proud of his efforts. It was like hearing a nun say a four letter word, or seeing a vegetarian eat bacon.


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