Where is this Child’s Mother?

All parents who give their children a smidge of freedom will experience the moment another adult says “where is this child’s mother?” Usually, the tone is concerned with a smidge of disdain.   Often they say it without words, but the look on their face like they smell something rotten and can’t seem to find where it’s coming from says it all.

Every time we ride bikes on the beltline path near our home, we have multiple where is this child’s mother moments. I have three children who move at different speeds on their wheeled apparatuses, so that means someone is usually at least a mile ahead, someone is being pushed or carried, and someone is a mile behind having a meltdown.

So, I made these shirts for my children.  The shirt spells out exactly what people are thinking when one of my free-range children is out of my reach. It tells the onlookers that I’m here.  I acknowledge your concern. I got this. I approve. No need to worry.  Carry on.

The first time I experienced a where is this child’s mother moment was at the playground when my then two-year-old.  I let her climb and slide and do things I knew she was capable of without direct hands-on supervision.  I was literally five feet away.  She was fine.  The other mother watching this was not.

I have found myriad other applications for the where is this child’s mother shirt:

• days when you predict you will be late to the carpool line or a playdate pickup
• when your children won’t let you brush their hair and/or refuse to wear seasonally appropriate footwear
• when your husband takes the children to the grocery store or to a restaurant without mom and people are bewildered by this basic execution of parenting
• when mom’s out of town
• when your middle child (a chronic wander) goes to any public gathering
• your child is at the playground and invites herself to a birthday party and helps herself to cake and party favors

No matter the circumstances, the where is this child’s mother shirt says exactly what they are thinking.

For the record, when I took this photo, my oldest child was taking a (fully sanctioned) short solo stroll around the neighborhood.  But good news! She was wearing the shirt.  Everyone can relax.