Asynchronous Wednesday

2021 April 28

by Jennifer

Here we go again. It’s “Asynchronous Wednesday.” That’s an Atlanta Public School euphemism for no school on Wednesday. Ever. No students are allowed in the building. Not a single one. I think it has something to do with deep cleaning? Or perhaps COVID is more contagious mid-week? It remains unclear.

Every Wednesday I have PTSD flashbacks from the decade I spent micro-managing virtual school: March 2020 to February 2021. But the difference is that on Asynchronous Wednesdays, there isn’t even virtual academic instruction. Sure, you can participate in (optional) virtual PE, but you won’t find this mom setting an early alarm so that her child can throw socks against the living room wall.

For an extroverted 3^rd grader who loves school, craves structure, and is desperate to leave this house, Asynchronous Wednesday inevitably becomes aSUCKronous WHINEsday. After practicing her handstands and staging a photoshoot with the cat, she comes to me in a sulky snit, asking for ideas of what to do. I rattle off a few zingers: Clean up the playroom! Journal! Build a fort! Write your pen pal! Memorize the state capitals! She rejects them all, complains that our backyard is no fun, and pouts because our neighbors can’t play. She finally grabs a book and cuddles up with her emotional support pandemic cat while I crank out some emails.

As a working mom, I’m not available to facilitate enriching trips to the zoo or museums on Wednesdays. (Honestly, the zoo is a bit of a schlep from here, so work is a convenient excuse to get out of that one.) But you know what working moms love to do? Power lunches. On Wednesdays, I take my 3^rd grader out for lunch. Quality one-on-one time in the middle of the week feels like a treat for both of us. I always let her pick the place and the playlist. I’m secretly hoping that she’s craving a Frosty and Justin Timberlake to make this a true NSYNCronous Wendy’s Day, but alas. On this particular day, she requests Beyoncé and Zoe’s Kitchen. I knew I liked that girl.

By late afternoon, her sisters are home, the neighbors can play, and sports practices commence. We are all feeling breezy knowing that the school bus will be here tomorrow.

Bye Bye Bye to this asynchronous nonsense and cheers to the fact that these kids will go back face-to-face 5 days next year.

Happy Nsyncronous Winesday.