Pregnancy Update (The Final Chapter)

Still pregnant! I’m two days from the official due date and I’m getting increasingly uncomfortable ready for the little one to arrive.  The bun in my oven is fully baked.

What have you done to get ready for labor? Though haven’t taken a Hypnobabies, Lamaze or Bradley Method class, or written out a detailed birth plan, I have taken this equally essential step to prepare for labor:  I’ve made a delivery iPod playlist for our entertainment at the hospital. It has a mix of everything from old classics to inspirational tunes to recent favorites.  My Man may be a tad embarrassed by some of my picks as they blare down the hospital corridor, but whatever. His veto power is very limited since I’m the one that gets to physically experience the miracle of childbirth. My iPod playlist is about 8 hours long. Unfortunately, I get the impression from ladies who have done this before that 8 hours may be a bit of a conservative estimate for first-time labor and childbirth.  Chances are that we will be listening to the playlist a few times.

Any contractions? A few here and there.  Yowza.  But I’m actually ready to feel some serious pain because it means that things are moving and the baby is close to being here.  Since my bag is packed and the car seat is installed, I googled ways to induce labor in an effort to get this show on the road.  If it wasn’t confirmed before, the internet is infested with crazies who live to share their most intimate details and witchcraft voodoo magic on medical message boards.  Teas, herbs, oils, galloping, reflexology, meditation, walking, spicy food, bumpy car rides and aromatherapy were some of the more mainstream recommendations to kick start labor. And men have somehow propagated a widely popular theory that a certain something also induces labor. I’ll give you a minute to read between the lines.

Any cravings? Sleeping on my stomach, red wine, sushi and imported cheeses.

But other than the obvious wanting what I can’t have, I really haven’t had any serious needitrightnow cravings throughout the pregnancy. But since this is a place of honesty, I probably should confess that My Man and I have developed a fancy for On the Border in recent months.  Not a pregnancy craving, per say, but it has definitely been thrown into the mealtime mix. Out of nowhere, this strip mall chain restaurant with enthusiastic waiters, television commercials and pictures on the menu has made it into our otherwise more refined restaurant rotation. It’s become our guilty pleasure secret spot for an economical fiesta.  Their salsa is amazing, their cokes are perfectly carbonated, and we are guaranteed not to see anyone we know (which to us means that we can boldly sit on the same side of the booth). Yep. We are those people.

How did the rental maternity dress work out? As you may recall, I rented a dress to wear in my friend’s wedding two weeks ago.  Fortunately the dress arrived in time for the big event. Unfortunately it was made of shiny stretchy bathing suit material and it was super low-cut in the front.   I had to do a minor safety pin alteration job on the straps so that I wasn’t sharing all my secrets as I walked down the aisle.  I wasn’t in love with it by any means but it got the job done.  Verdict?  Well worth $36.

Nesting? Fact or Fiction? Throughout the pregnancy, my hormones have been totally even keel. Trust me. You can even ask My Oneandonly and he will agree.  There have been no unjustified tears, screaming fits or breaking dishes out of rage.  I’m starting to think that playing the “cravings” and “hormones” cards during pregnancy are simply justifications for completely unleashing on the impregnator and demanding him to drive you through the Krispy Kreme drive-through when the “hot now” sign is on.  And that is totally understandable.  I may be calling balderdash on these alleged side effects, at least for me, but I’m here to say that the nesting instinct/phenomenon is real! (and damn is it expensive).  Feathering my nest has encouraged me to take on a lot of projects that the baby might not appreciate—at least not yet…like getting new bedding in the master bedroom, buying fabric to get a custom shower curtain made in the guest bathroom, and undertaking a complete outdoor overhaul.  Now we have new fancy professional landscaping in the front yard and three-plus weekends worth of do-it-yourself grass seeding in the back yard.  And I suddenly discovered a new-found energy surrounding tasks like organizing the junk drawers, cleaning out the freezer and unabashed use of the label maker. Some days I need  a nap, the sofa, the DVR and my seabands,  and on other days I feel like I’m a 1950s housewife on speed. It really is quite remarkable.

Is the Nursery finished?  The nursery is 95% finished and I will post pictures as soon as we hang the art on the walls and make the finishing touches. Here is a little preview though.

So what now? It is crazy being this close to such a massive and exciting life change—but not knowing exactly when it will happen.  It’s highly possible that last weekend was the last weekend we will have before we have a baby. Or it could have been the second-to-last since I feel pretty confident that I’ll go past the due date.  So confident, in fact, that I have an appointment to get my hair highlighted on Thursday afternoon.  The way I see it, this is my last chance to influence baby girl’s genetics and I’m hoping to pass on the natural blonde gene.  I’m not quite sure what to do with myself during this weird waiting period. Likely I’ll continue working, nesting, watching Bravo on DVR, and trying some of the tactics to naturally induce labor.

Hopefully next time you hear from me, it will be with news of the arrival of our healthy baby girl!!