There is nothing the Internet loves more than a great new Beyonce video, silly kittens on YouTube, and a good old fashioned before & after. You will have to check out the Beyonce video for yourself, but I can give you a few before & afters.

Dining room before:

Dining room after:

The 72′ round table is actually newly mine, as is the barely visible beige-ish tablecloth (both of which my deal-savvy parents were able to snag for a song). This will stay in the dining room until the far-too-distant-future when we can afford to splurge on a large French antique oval table. The coral overlay was an addition from my mom’s collection to jazz up the celebration and add a little oomph to what she calls “the house of beige.” The adorable chiavari chairs were on overnight loan from the wedding caterer. Understandably, I got pretty attached.

The women over 50 30 sat in here-what one day will be the future cozy-sophisto living room. Here it was before:

And ta-da! After:

I couldn’t help but feel like the Barefoot Contessa when I was setting that table with a burlap tablecloth, linen napkins and pewter silver. But I need more eclectic friends with neat stores in The Hamptons to complete that little fantasy. One step at a time, I suppose.

Who catered the shower, you might ask. Well, I did! I can hardly believe it myself. What to serve, what to serve…?

Raise your hand if you have ever been a bridesmaid.

Keep your hand up if you have ever gone to a bridesmaid’s luncheon.

Now keep your hand high in the air if you were served chicken salad at that luncheon.

I see that every single hand is still in the air.

What is it about a gathering of women that necessitates a menu consisting of mayonnaise -laden chicken salad?

Because I didn’t want to ruffle too many feathers and veer too far off the prescribed course for such an event (by serving something like BBQ or lasagna), I served…wait for it…chicken on a salad. There is a BIG difference between chicken salad and salad with chicken in it. Email me if you have any questions about that.

The entree that the bride requested for her second-to-last-lunch as a single lady is affectionately called “the salad” in my family and officially called “The Cornucopia Salad.” It is always a crowd-pleaser and was easily quadrupled to serve 17.

Cornucopia Salad

(serves 4 and doubles and triples easily)

Ingredients:

• 1/4 cup sliced almonds
• 1 tablespoon white sugar
• 1 large head green leaf lettuce or spring greens, torn
• 2 green onions, chopped
• 1 Granny Smith apple, cored and chopped
• 1 avocado – peeled, pitted, chopped and seasoned with salt and pepper
• 1/2 cup dried cranberries
• 1/4 cup crumbled goat cheese (or blue, or feta, or whatever cheese pleases you)
• 1 8oz can mandarin oranges, drained
• 1 rotisserie chicken, white meat only
• Dressing of your choice: I used Trader Joe’s Cranberry Walnut Gorgonzola Vinaigrette this time. Other recommendations: Balsamic vinaigrette, Trader Joe’s Champagne Pear with Gorgonzola vinaigrette or any basic vinaigrette that you love.

Instructions:

Place the almonds and 1 tablespoon of sugar in a small skillet over medium-low heat, and cook and stir until the sugar melts and the almonds brown. Watch carefully because if you turn away for even just a minute, you will have a burnt mess and there will be no choice but to start over. Remove from heat and allow to cool. (In a pinch, you can also skip this step entirely and buy pre-seasoned walnuts or pecans).

Get a fancy French manicure on your way to Costco to pick up the rotisserie chickens. (Hormones and free-range livin’ be dammed, Costco rotisserie chickens are the very, very best). De-bone, de-skin and remove all that tasty white breast meat from the chickens. Shred it in bite size pieces. Ruin your wedding manicure. Decide it was definitely worth it.

In a large salad bowl, mix the lettuce, green onions, apple, avocado, dried cranberries, mandarin oranges, chicken, goat cheese, and cooked almonds. No need to be exact on the measurements of these ingredients, just add as much or as little as you like

Toss with the dressing of your choosing and serve.

Along with the salad we served these delicious little butter muffins. They were divine warm from the oven. Recipe as follows:

• 2 sticks butter
• 1 8 oz. carton sour cream
• 2 cups self-rising flour

And dessert, oh my heavens dessert.

Vanilla ice cream toped with fresh berries and the most delicious warm toffee sauce you’ve ever had. My Man and I have been reheating the leftovers since the shower, and he insisted I blog the recipe for the benefit of my blog readers. It’s that good! You know, life is tough these days. We might be on the verge of a double-dip recession and we are definitely on the verge of winter and the end of daylight savings time. I also have a newly married sister who may or may not be spending Christmas with our family. I don’t know which is worse. What I do know is that this will help:

Instructions:
Combine first 4 ingredients in saucepan. Stir and allow to come to a boil for 1 minute. Remove from heat, stir in toffee bits and cool. Serve over strawberries (ice cream is optional) topped with dollop of whipped cream. Sauce may be made well ahead and left to stand, or refrigerated and reheated. Stir occasionally when reheating.

It truly was such a joy to host my amazing sister and her sweet friends, many of whom I consider friends of my own. It was a treat to have them all together, at the same table sharing delicious food (thankyouverymuch) and even shedding a spirit tear or two, thanks to my sister, who had us all misty-eyed when she went around and told each of us why we were so special to her.

I’m only sorry I had to miss the 10am Zumba class that took place in my parents’ tented driveway the morning before the luncheon.

Apparently even my dad couldn’t resist getting in on the action.

Wedding pictures coming soon…

Today, I put the first thing where it belongs.  Grinning ear-to-ear, I walked in the door to the smell of fresh paint and marched my boots right to their new home.

Evvvverything has a place.  Do you know how good that feels?  ((I’ll tell you who knows how good that feels–All of those type As who live and die by Real Simple, label their clear Ziploc bags and can think of 101 ways to use a coffee filter.))

Tomorrow will feel a lot like this:

Only waaay cooler, because just some, not all, of our stuff is made of plastic.

I am beside myself with glee.

Everything has its place, now I have mine.

I have to admit, the packing has been hanging over my head a bit. For some reason, I can’t buckle down and just do it. I am afraid to put things in taped-up boxes for fear that I might need something in them.

I had a heart-to-heart with myself the other night about packing a certain kitchen item.

Me: You should probably go ahead and pack the mini muffin pan.

Me: I don’t know. What if I need to make mini muffins between now and the move?

Me: You haven’t made mini muffins in the three years you have owned the mini muffin pan. Pack it.

Me: But what if I am craving mini muffins over the next few weeks? Then what?

Me: PACK THE DAMN PAN!

One thing is for sure. In the new house, I’m going to be the kind of woman who bakes mini muffins. I’ll be known for my mini muffins. I am going to wear that damn pan out.

Although I may not have done much packing, I have done two very important things:

1. I have changed over all (# censored so you don’t judge me for frivolous spending and superficial reading habits) of my magazine subscriptions to the new address. It was the first move-related thing I did after we signed the papers at the closing. Priorities, people. Priorities. My friends at Vanity Fair and New York Magazine, among others, now know exactly where to find me.

2. I have selected, purchased and scheduled delivery for two-yes two-matching sofas for our new living room. Having two parallel sofas has been a dream of mine since I saw Father of the Bride Part II.

Now if we could juuuust figure out a way to convince my mom to have another baby. At the same time time as me…

Here are a couple of designer examples of the two sofa scenario. I think the setup is ideal for conversations and entertaining.

Source: Urban Grace Interiors

Source: Nathan Egan Interiors

Source: Somewhere on the WWW.

So come on over anytime! We can read magazines while we lounge parallel on the sofas. I’ll make you mini muffins.

We are homeowners!

Or are we home owners? Not sure. But either way, we entered a leather chaired conference room, signed a bazillion documents, transferred a large amount of our hard-earned of money, exchanged firm handshakes and emerged homeowners/home owners.

The House is now Our House!! Like I said before, from the first time we saw it I was smitten. I would show you a picture of the adorable exterior, but since there are so many creepers on the internet (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE), I don’t think that’s such a good idea. Instead, I’ll offer an artistic rendering:

That’s the new house made entirely of chocolate covered raisins.

And let’s revisit the list I made ohsolongago, about what we wanted in the future house and see how it stacks up:

Deal makers:

• an open floor plan where the kitchen flows into the living room (YES!)
• a yard for a future (hopefully non-shedding) dog (YES!)
• a quiet street in a walkable neighborhood (super hilly neighborhood, but YES! and better yet, it is in walking distance from some of our very best friends!)
• at least 3 bedrooms, so yall can come visit (YES! 4!)
• a value. a deal. a big bang for the hard-earned buck. (We found a rare gem)

Deal breakers:

• located on a flood plain (No! no flood insurance necessary)
• on a busy street with double yellow lines (Not even a single dotted yellow line)
• choppy floor plan (No! It’s very open with a great flow)
• an on-site seller’s agent who talks to My Man throughout the entire home tour, and only talks to me when pointing out the features of the laundry room (No seller’s agent to speak of, in fact, the house was never officially on the market and we are actually friends with the builder/former owner )
• a master bathroom that makes me feel like I would get an STD from taking a bath in the black marble tub (I’m talking to you, house on Martin Court) (I am SO excited about the bathrooms in the new house. Baths will no longer be reserved for hotel stays!)
• the lot backs up to an interstate or is in hearing distance from one (nope!)
• really low ceilings (high ceilings!)

BONUS gifts that weren’t even on the list:

• Two closets in the master bedroom
• Dark hardwoods
• A front porch
• Speakers throughout the house
• Wainscoting in the dining room

To say that I am all-caps SUPER EXCITED doesn’t even cover it.

Moving day is currently scheduled for July 9, but there is a chance that we might be able to move that date forward a bit. 58 days and counting…

((And almost, almost, as exciting as closing on Our House was sending The Landlord (who currently lives in the basement apartment) a notice that we will be moving out. Sigh. Of. Relief. With a dash of take that you unhygienic, penny-pinching cable thief))

Translation: Be cool, you ninny. It’s not yours yet and it probably never will be. So spare yourself the potential disappointment and stay cool. STAY COOL.

Easier said than done.

From the first time we saw The House, I was smitten. I went to sleep dreaming of the dark hardwoods and the open floorplan. A few days later I was completely mentally and emotionally packed and already visualizing the place where we would put the Christmas tree. I knew I was in deep.

We have been house hunting for almost a year and this was the first time anything remotely excited us. So despite words of warning and my better judgment, I willingly dove in headfirst. While My Man kept his poker face, I was just excited to be excited.

I imagined what my life would be like in the beautiful master bathroom. You know, to have somewhere where you really feel squeaky clean? I dream of it! Since I left the nest (my parent’s house) I’ve never lived anywhere where I have even been tempted to take a bath. It should be noted that I LOVE baths, but the bathroom at our current digs is far from spa-like. And there is always the possibility of an unwelcome surprise visit from the landlord…

When I drew a picture of The House in white icing on My Man’s Toaster Strudel, I knew things had gotten pretty bad. But I willingly let myself go there.

The thing is, I had no idea if buying The House was even a possibility. Among other issues, The House technically wasn’t on the market yet. The important questions were swirling around my head: Can we afford it? Is it a good investment? What will our interest rate be? Will we like the neighborhood? Where will we put the Christmas Tree? When can we move in?

Over the past few weeks I have been drinking a tasty cocktail. Recipe as follows:

1 part anxiety + 1 part excitement + 1 part longing + 1 part fear of disappointment + 2 parts red wine

It goes down pretty smooth.

Well, after three weeks of conversations and negotiations, I am delighted to report that we are officially under contract. I couldn’t be more excited! I suppose I’m still supposed to be protecting myself from getting too attached, but clearly I stopped doing that a long time ago. Sure, something could still fall through. There is always the chance of termites or tornadoes. And we still have to do an inspection and the appraisal and all of that, but I am hopeful everything will work out.

Not a done deal, but pretty dang close.